A blanket apology to all men

I love you guys, I really do – but being a single woman who works with 32 of you, let’s just say it can be easy to lump you all in a catagory.

For years, since it’s inception really, I’ve maintained that HD television is something “only men can see”. My television set gave me a crystal clear picture, in living color, with no blurring – what more could you want? I figured HD was something marketed toward the male of the species because, honestly you guys will buy anything that makes football watching more fun.

“You can see the sweat dripping off their faces!” I would hear. But that just made me wonder why on earth anyone would want HD. If it makes me see sweat dripping, or makes older SF movies look incredibly fake, why would I want that?

And seriously, how much MORE clear can an already clear picture be?

I was one of those women who believed that only Men have the ability to SEE the HD signal. That we women lacked a gene that would allow us to be impressed by it.

Then I bought a big flat screen. For the first week it was set up, our Direct TV signal was standard. Our dish outside was round, our DVR regular ol’ issue. I had made an appointment to be upgraded to the oblong dish and HD receiver/DVR (which at the time of my order was free – yay me) But already we were pretty impressed. The screen was so much larger than what we were used to, we were really happy.

“How much better can this get?” we wondered. “It’s big, it’s clear, it’s really nice.” We were finally able to see the score of a game up in the corner without squinting or walking up to the screen. We could now read news tickers that scrolled along the bottom. We figured we were set.

Then the Direct TV man came. While I was at work and my sister was home, he unhooked our old round dish, put the new oblong up on the roof (instead of the fence where the round one had to go) then came inside and hooked up the new DVR, showed my sister all the fun things you can do with the remote, and left.

When I came home that night, we were too busy with the installation of our new stove to really watch TV – but later that night I did notice the news was especially crisp and colorful.

Saturday rolls around, and we had to run errands that kept us busy until late. But then, anticipating our Seahawks would win their Sunday game (#*@$#!(*) we decided to watch the Packers lose to the 49ers, so we’d know who the Hawks would play next Sunday. (dammit dammit dammit)

Ho-ly crap!

I gets it. I really gets it !

Yes, you can see them sweat. And you can see the blades of grass they’re destroying, each individual hair on every man’s face, who is and isn’t wearing underwear. And when they run a play back in slow motion, you can SEE their ass-fat jiggle !! I was truly and honestly blown away by the clarity. The little things you notice now, that you just couldn’t see before. Hair is what really startles me, for some reason. Even watching 20/20 I found myself staring at a guy’s jaw line because his little scruffy beard was so crystal clear and sharp !

I could even see the pimples a woman was trying to hide with makeup on the news.

Which is disgusting except that it was SO CRYSTAL CLEAR!

Now I’m really angry that my PS3 broke down – when I think of being able to play games on THAT screen, in HD . . . damn.

Still, watching movies and television shows in HD now is da bomb. Which leads me to say this:

To all the Men out there – you were right (on this one) HD really IS where it’s at.

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