I must be getting old

Because I just don’t get it. I’m sitting in my livingroom, inside my house, reading a book while my sister is watching television, or maybe we’re both on the computers with a baseball game in the background, minding our own business inside of our own home, when it happens.

You can hear them a couple of blocks away. The low, thudding base. At first it’s this irritating noise in the periphery of your hearing, you’re not even aware of it but it’s starting to annoy you. Then it slowly draws your attention as it gains volume, getting closer and louder. Your windows begin to vibrate and rattle, your cats wake up and looked irritated, and you end up sitting there, pausing whatever it was you were doing because now you’re pissed off, waiting for the a-hole driving the stereo down the street to go by and go away!

And they always drive slowly, so you can reap the full benefits of their astoundingly nasty taste in music.


What are they trying to gain? Are they simply trying very hard to piss off the entire world, one ear drum at a time as they drive slowly around town with their volume at the far end of the dial? Are they THAT angry at the world, that they’re so willing to destroy their own hearing just to make people look up for a moment and cuss?

I was in the car one day and had one of these twats behind me, and when I glanced in the rearview I could see a voodoo doll hanging from his rearview actually bouncing in the air from the sound waves. Do you KNOW what that does to those little hairs inside your ear?

Yanno, when those things break off, that’s it, they don’t grow back. Even if they just bend all the way down, they stay there. You’re deaf. Maybe it’s too late, and they’re already deaf, which is why they have to turn the volume up so high, just to hear the music. That doesn’t make it right, though.

I just don’t understand the point, and I’ve tried. I contemplate human behavior all the time as a writer, and I haven’t been able to figure this one out. The only explanation I can come up with takes me back to the playground – – they’re just brats. They’re just doing it because they can, and because for that brief moment they can piss off everyone around them, the get to take center stage. As they drive by, they can imagine the whole world turning to look at them, and it doesn’t matter than we’re flipping them the bird, swearing back, or – in my case – hoping aloud that their dicks turn green and fall off.

During my younger years, living in apartments in the city, that was the one thing that could set me off and turn me into a raging lunatic, hearing the music from another apartment. It’s such a violation. You’re trying to spend some time at home, relaxing, watching television, whatever, and you’re invaded by thud thud thud coming through the walls, or the floor, or the ceiling. You can’t turn it down, you can’t turn it off, you bang on the walls and that just pisses them off so they turn the volume UP. You call the manager and get a recording, or when you DO get someone you find it’s just the service and they’ll relay a message but fat lotta good that does.

And you can’t just ignore it. It gets under your skin, to the point of grabbing your full attention because it’s always there, always thudding there in the walls while you’re watching television or heaven forbid, trying to read a book. It’s an invasion.

I’d go to their doors sometimes and complain, and almost always get some snotty retort about how they can do whatever they want inside their own home. I’d scream back that their rights stop as soon as what they’re doing inside their home begins to disrupt MY home – then the cussing would start, and threats. Usually by that point I’d go back inside and call the cops, which I hate doing because they have better things to do, honestly.

After a few confrontations, I stopped knocking on doors. It got too dangerous. You never knew who’d come to the door, or if they’d be armed and pissy. I started to consider getting a gun, but around that point we moved out of the city and bought a house.

Now they just drive by, and I wish for their dicks to fall off. I’d quite like everyone out there, who drives around in a car with the volume cranked way up, who takes no regard or consideration for the other people on this planet at the same time, to suffer severe fungus of the cock.

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