A foodie, I am not. I have a niece who is so adventurous, she’ll try anything at least once, no matter how disgusting it might sound, but me – well, I’m so lactose intolerant I’ve been known to shout at cows. Whenever you’re sensitive or allergic to a food group, you have to be paranoid about what you eat.
You’d be surprised what you can find when you read the ingredients of things.
So it’s no surprise that I don’t try a whole lot of new stuff without careful thought, but when it comes to coffee – I’m standing in line to try anything new.
Which brings me to this morning – one of my coworkers has been brewing up this little concoction at home, he calls liquid gold. I’m not exactly sure WHAT it is, but he claims it’s the best cup of coffee on the face of the earth. Says he cold brews this stuff at home, and then it’s stored in the fridge, and used as a “starter” that he adds to hot cups of water.
Well, he’d been bragging about this stuff for weeks, so this morning when he offered to make me “the best cup of coffee you’ve ever tasted”, how could I say no? Sure, I’m a tea drinker – but unlike some tea drinkers, I’m also a massive coffee snob. It doesn’t have to be Starbucks, but if it came from a can, you can just turn right around, Mister!
Anyway, I say yes, and he takes my cup to his little private laboratory (his office) and brings me back this cup of what appears to be coffee. He tells me it’ll be the best thing I’ve ever had – he uses cream, but since I swear at cows, I just added some sugar.
When I stirred it, it sorta foamed up in a strange way, but then settled right down. He’d left, so it’s not like I had to pretend to be awed when I drank it, so I sat down, pushed my own cup of Joe aside, and picked up my cup. The next five minutes went as follows:
Sip 1: Interesting flavor, not sure what to make of it.
Sip 2: It has a sort of odd lightness that I wasn’t expecting, and an almost smokey taste.
Sip 3: This is definitely not coffee. It’s exotic, and interesting, but there is nothing truly coffee about this flavor
Sip 4: I think I like it. It’s not coffee, but it’s interesting – I think I want to like it.
Sip 5: Yes, exotic is the word. I want to like this. It’s just so “different” and interesting. I really do think, maybe, I could like this. Sort of.
Sip 6: Yanno, this tastes rather like goat spit.
Sip 7: This is disgusting goat spit coffee! Oh my god, it’s awful! Do I have llama poo in my teeth? Gawd!
After that, this “best cup of coffee you’ve ever tasted” went down the sink, and I washed my mouth out with my own cup of Peets French Roast.
Power to People!
Make Love, not War!
Do I have llama poo in my teeth? Honestly?